brokenandalone's Blog

im sorry but i had to type this

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note to self

play this game when i get home  


i really like some one i think he is actally the sexest man alive but just because i wouldnt do something he asks because i feel EXTERMLY uncomfterable doing it
 he snaps at me and calls me selfish and here i am crying over a silly thing like that me a girl who usally doesnt care about what people think any more but now i dont know what it is i just wonder if he really cares about me why would he put me into a situation that causes me stress or am i just a toy he want to minipulate till im his perfect girl the drop me and leave just like all the others or is this just going to stop before its even started i dont know anymore and right now i just wanna stop crying because thats all i used to ever do and i want to be strong and keep moving because im finally going to collage now and im finally leaveing my hell of a home and things are finally going right for me ME of all people so if he really cares about me i dont know but he has broken my trust and its not given back that easily

My Black world


My Black world


It’s like walking down a path that every one does not wish to follow. I stand on the edge I hear a sad scream, I turn and I say coming they shake their heads, no thank you As I walk in they all yell madly at me I smile, a smell reaches me it smells like fear no maybe smoke or something burning I don’t know? I see the midnight sky with all stars shining like diamonds I barely can make it out but ashy rain? I hear a voice no its an evil laugh I open my mouth to say something I’m hit with all these bad tastes like lime, sour, or black liquorish maybe charcoal. I hear crying I run toured it, mist I can feel it brushing ageist my face. I fall my shoulder hits the stony ground painfully. An uneasy voice calls welcome to my world.



 i think half the time I'm living in fantasy world where i wish some man would sweep me off my feet or back me into a dark ally and claim me as his sighs but no one ever looks at a girl with acne who's short and a little round ill admit it but i love my skin but I'm insecure only because its seems no guy loves me or approaches me i have to chase after them and its so hard because usually i end up getting hurt and they end up getting away like a fish jumping off the hook so i make up my own princes of the night or day i dont judge looks ether i dont care if half your face was missing i love what is inside half of the guys i chase are the ones who you wouldn't think would have a girl chasing them but they some how find a better girl i don't know i think my heart is turning into stone because slowly little by little hate forms its black crust

if anybody cares

if some one out their in this world is actually reading this i thank you with all my heart this will be my first post i hope of many to help with my sanity I'm 17 my name is Amelia and i hope one day to bring my drawings to life so they wont be in my head any more I'm siting at home sick with my period in full swing and on top of that Xmas shit and my mother shoving me to do my collage apps that is a whole other tale my father is no place to be found of coarse he is helping others when he cant even help his own emotional problems and I'm struggling with love of a man who is amazing and i wonder if i even deserve him sighs and i bet no one is ever going to read this because hey who would I'm just a tiny thing that gets tossed aside for my imperfections  I'm sorry for the no grammar that's just how i am

1-5 of 5 Blogs   

Previous Posts
im sorry but i had to type this, posted November 28th, 2010, 1 comment
note to self, posted July 6th, 2010
caring, posted June 17th, 2010, 1 comment
My Black world, posted January 29th, 2010
love, posted January 28th, 2010, 2 comments
if anybody cares, posted December 21st, 2009, 2 comments

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